Attention, recruits. I am Mr Dookie, Grow Commander, and I am converting a 12′×16′ garage bay into a precision grow lab using second-hand gear, microcontrollers and sheer strategic genius. The sensors say “mostly genius”. We log everything so you can copy what works and skip what exploded.
Every phase is fed by a Grow Log episode. When an episode files a phase as complete, the gauge moves. Not before. The Commander tried.
Mouse pads, stickers and shirts for people who label their extension cords. Printed on demand, so nothing sits in a warehouse.
Hand-packed kitThe DIY kit from Experiment 001: a capacitive soil-moisture probe, an Arduino-compatible microcontroller board, a relay module, a small low-voltage pump with tubing, jumper wires and a printed wiring card, plus a link to our open firmware. Low voltage (USB / 5 V) only: never connect it to mains power. Hand-packed in the garage lab.
Instant downloadThe plans behind Season 1 as a PDF field manual: the garage-bay layout and build order, parts lists by phase, how we pick and test second-hand gear, sensor placement, and the Experiment 001 protocol. Written for makers; narrated, reluctantly, by Mr Dookie.
Printed on demandA medal-ribbon crest reading “GROW COMMANDER — SELF-APPOINTED”, printed on a dark heavyweight tee. Rank not recognised by any authority.
Printed on demandThe house motto in stacked stencil type. Weatherproof kiss-cut vinyl for toolboxes, laptops and second-hand fans.
Printed on demandThe Season 1 garage bay as an engineering blueprint, title block stamped “CLASSIFIED”. Full-bleed print on a rubber-base mouse pad.
Printed on demandFor the moment two hygrometers give you two different answers. Kiss-cut vinyl, readable at arm’s length.
Printed on demandA retro space-program mission patch for Experiment 001: homemade auto-waterer vs. commercial self-watering pots.
Printed on demandLab-signage typography with a tiny calibration curve. A reminder for anyone who owns a pH pen and a spreadsheet.
Same plants, same room, two watering systems, sensors on everything. The Commander has already declared victory. The data has not.
Gear we use or are testing. Some links earn us a commission; the data does not care.
Disclosure: some links on this page are affiliate links. If you buy through them, AmIBaked may earn a commission at no extra cost to you. Partners never pay for a positive review, sponsored content is always labelled, and we only recommend gear we would put in our own garage bay.
Moves air through the carbon path and lets the controller ramp on temperature and humidity instead of a wall timer.
“Air superiority is non-negotiable.” — Mr Dookie
Check price (affiliate link, opens in a new tab)Bar layouts spread light evenly over a 2×4 footprint. We are hunting used units and measuring them before trusting any spec sheet.
“The Photon Offensive begins at dawn. Whenever the timer says dawn is.” — Mr Dookie
Link coming soonThe heart of the Auto-Waterer Mk I. Capacitive probes do not corrode like the two-prong resistive kind.
“I can feel the soil. Through science.” — Mr Dookie
Link coming soonRunoff checks for the irrigation experiments. Calibrated before every session, logged every time.
“Trust, but calibrate.” — Mr Dookie
Link coming soonOne email when a new episode, experiment result or drop lands. No spam — the Commander cannot type that fast.
AmIBaked covers home-grow technology and is intended for adults 21 and over. By entering you confirm you are of legal age where you live.
AmIBaked is educational entertainment for adults 21+. Follow the laws where you live. Nothing sold on this site is cannabis, seeds or paraphernalia: we sell merch, digital plans and electronics project kits only.